Children are Mirrors reflecting Parents

Children are Mirrors

Children reflect what they receive. If they receive love then that is what they will reflect. When they receive unkindness then that is what they will reflect. This means that children do not initiate love. They only give what they receive. This means that we should give our children unconditional love in order for them to be able to reflect unconditional love. In the same way when we are conditional in loving them so will they be. We teach them how to love without sitting them down and actually teaching them. They learn from us in the way we live and treat them and others. We teach them how to listen, we teach how to speak and everything else. Many times we expect our children to speak with us in a certain way yet, they hear us speak with other people differently. Children do what they see, Not what you tell them not to do.

The problem is not that parent do not love their children. The problem is that most parents do not know How to convey their love to their children. No matter how much one loves someone if that person is not loved in his love language then the love you give does not have the desired effect. Someone has to feel that they are loved by you.

The five love languages written by Gary Chapman are mainly for couples but I have found that it applies to everyone no matter the age. Remember that when you understand your own love language and the love language of your child you have a great advantage to make your child FEEL unconditionally love. CHILDREN NEEDS TO FEEL LOVED ALL THE TIME. Here are the different love languages:

1.       The Power of Words: When WORDS are your child’s love language then you need to speak words of affirmations daily to your child, think of things to say each morning that is truthful which will build your child. WORDS that let you child know how you feel about him or her. Remember God’s WORD says that in your tongue you have the power to heal and to kill. So use your power to heal, restore, nourish and uplift your child. You will be eternally grateful in this small investment you are making in the life of your child. As you speak these WORDS your child will reflect this back to you in due time. Your child needs constant recognition and praise.

2.       The Power of Touch: When TOUCH is your child’s love language then you should make sure that you TOUCH your child everyday with purpose and it should be done appropriately. Give him or her ‘hi fives’, a pat on the back, a pat on the head, a kiss (children loves to be kissed on the forehead), a hug or just hold hands. You know, sometimes a foot or hand massage would be much appreciated.  Even without WORDS you are making your child feel loved and accepted. WARNING! If this is not something you normally do and are introducing it start subtly at first and then let your child know that this is how you are expressing your love.

3.       The Power of Gifts: All of us like gifts but it is not the language of love of everyone. If this is your child’s primary language of love then it does not mean you have to buy expensive gifts to prove your love. Just making things special is more than enough. Making food, like breakfast and lunch with a note or something unexpected. You know your child so you will know what he or she would like, and if you don’t know then they will show you...just observe them. Children have the amazing ability to teach us, we just need to be more observing. Use gifts sometimes as a reward system...not all the time.

4.       The Power of Quality Time: When TIME is your child’s love language then that is what they need...YOUR TIME. All he or she wants is to be with you. Playing with you, reading with you, watching television with you, just telling you about their day. This child will not expect anything from but just your TIME. By spending TIME with him or her conveys your love and makes him or her feel deeply loved.

5.       The Power of Serving:  When SERVING is the language of love for your child then doing things with him or her and for him or her is showing your love. I do not mean the things you have to do; I mean the things that your child loves doing. Once again, observe your child and see what are the things he or she likes doing. This child loves to do things around the house. They like to put things in order and make sure everyone has everything before a big trip. They are real troopers when one needs some extra hands. Giving clear instructions to your child in what you expect him or her to do will give them direction as they love helping. SERVE them the same way. 

JUST IMAGINE...

Imagine you have a beautiful relationship with your child.

Imagine your child listens to you every time when you speak.

Imagine your child loves to learn and school is a breeze.

Imagine your child is excited about succeeding in life and choosing the right relationships.

Imagine you have no discipline problems with your child.

Stop imagining! This is possible! Be part of the Parenting Skills Training each month and see all these imaginations be manifested into reality!