A Great Memorable Day - National Children's Day 3 November 2018

Children Are Valuable - Love Them

The Start of National Children's Day

Parents Be Present

Parents Be present. Being present in the now...not later...not what happened yesterday. Know what is happening around you at all times, especially when you are with your child or children.

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Parents Be Present

Give your child a sense of belonging

The importance of connecting

Connecting is what life is all about. Each person no matter who you are is connected with someone else. If ever you doubt it just look at your navel. That is a constant reminder that you are connected with someone. We are all one. How much more should we feel connected as family. It is found that most children, who end up joining gangs, joined the group because they were told that they are family. They had a sense of belonging. They had some form of connection and that drew them to the gang. Connecting with someone makes them feel wanted. We all have a need to belong and a need to be wanted not just needed. Today in our society with being connected on the internet and all types of media we think that we are connecting with people but in reality we are disconnected. Many times families are in the same room but each one busy connecting on the internet yet not connecting with each other.

The wonderful thing about feeling connected with one’s family is having a sense of belonging. This gives value and gives a confidence in knowing that one is not alone. Feeling alone is one of the worst feelings one should not have. Being connected with a family gives an assurance that no matter what happens they are there for you. It makes one feel that there is always hope because there are people who believes in you. In the world today there are always people who want to break one down and kill ones dreams but when one knows you belong no one can break you down. Home needs to be a place of restoration, healing, hope, renewal, where one knows one is safe and secure because there is this great feeling of being loved.

It is strange though that most of the times we treat strangers better than our own family. Our families seem to be wicked with one another, hurting each other and taking each other for granted. When a child has this connection with his or her parents from an early age, life is perceived in ways that makes one live in victory, love, kindness and so much more. This feeling makes children succeed without great effort. It is as if there is a special favor upon their lives and it is true in a very beautiful sense. You see the child who feels loved wants to achieve because they have a great sense of purpose. This purpose drives them to become all they want to become that is of benefit to them and to the society as a whole.

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Parents Speak With Your Child And Not To Your Child

Just think back when you were a child. How many times did you feel that no one understood you? Your child and my child are facing the same dilemma.

The difference is that we don’t have to allow history to repeat itself. We have the power to change history. We need to learn to speak with our children instead of speaking to them. What is the difference you ask? When we speak to them we come from a point of authority. As if the other person or in this case your child has no say in the conversation. When we speak with our children they feel that they are included in the conversation and that their opinion matters. This gives children a sense of being heard, being understood. This creates a freedom to share with you things that most children share with their friends or other adults.

So parents speak with and not to your child…

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STOP LABELING YOUR CHILD NEGATIVELY...

 Do you label your child in a negative way?

Do you say things like...'You are always ungrateful! You are very naughty! You are stupid!' Just to name a few.

This past weekend I spoke to one of the parents who told me about her MOODY child. This little girl is only two years old. The previous day the mom told me that her daughter had a fever and was not well for the past two days. As I listened to her I was reminded of what she told me and interrupted her. I said to her: 'Do not label your child as being moody. She is only two years old. Remember that children that age does not have the vocabulary to tell you how they feel. They communicate using their emotions.'

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Parents! Children cry when they are upset, angry, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, dirty and when they are sick. You need to find out what the problem is. When you find that your child is comfortable, satisfied, healthy, clean and all is in order, then look at their emotional tank. Their emotional tank should be full all the time. This is when they know and feel loved. Children know they are loved when you have done the following things:
1. You gave them eye contact (See your child, validate their presence, acknowledge them)
2. You gave them focused attention (listening to them and really understanding their need)
3. You gave them physical touch (in a pruposeful way that make the child feel loved and safe)
4. Words of power (affirmation, encouragement, express love in words and more)
5. Discipline (Perhaps your child just needs loving discipline) and not punishment

Remember your child is your most valuable treasure. Take great care of them. Be mindful of the label you place on them. If you must put a label on your child may it be something of great value, something that will build their character. Say things like: 'You are such a loving child. You are very generous. You are kind. You are helpful. You are such a great blessing.' This list can never be exasperated. Put beautiful labels on your child...

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Connecting With Your Child Using Eye Contact (Part1)

https://youtu.be/JYZwhEw5mRc

Parenting Skills Training

https://youtu.be/m3GU3mx0N-w

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